The Energy of You                  Volume XXI Issue #33

Hi Reader,

Last Sunday I asked if you had a better word for retirement, and you wrote back.

A few of your replies resonated.

"At first you wonder what you'll do with all this free time once work is out of the picture. Well, I tell you, life fills it in."

"I think I'll continue to work, just fewer hours, as long as I can make a difference for someone else."

"I love the idea of a new word. No suggestions, but something more uplifting than withdrawing."

"I'm certainly not interested in withdrawing from life. But I'm also scared about what the next chapter looks like."

We still haven't come up with a good replacement word yet, so the search continues. Keep them coming.

That last reply captured one of the more common threads. Eagerness and fear, side by side, in the same breath. I think that's true for so many of us in this season of life. There's a longing for change and, at the same time, an aversion to the uncertainty of what that change might look like.

One of the challenges of this season is that we can feel the pull toward something different long before we know what that something is. We may be ready to let go of responsibilities, expectations, or roles that have shaped our lives for decades, but the uncertainty of what comes next can make even a welcome change feel unsettling.

Sometimes we stay with what's familiar simply because we know how to navigate it, even when it's no longer a good fit.

Sometimes we've become so accustomed to meeting everyone else's needs and expectations that we've lost touch with what we actually want.

Who's Leading Your Life?

Earlier this year, I led a workshop where 60% of the participants said they didn't feel they were leading their own life experience. They came from different backgrounds and were navigating different circumstances, but a common thread emerged. Over time, they had become so accustomed to meeting other people's needs and expectations that they'd lost touch with their own preferences, hopes, and dreams. Somewhere along the way, they'd begun following someone else's lead.

It's surprisingly easy to do. We're surrounded by messages about what we should think, how we should spend our time, what we should accomplish, and even what a fulfilling life is supposed to look like. When those expectations become familiar enough, we can follow them without ever consciously deciding whether they work for us.

During the workshop, we worked through an exercise called Colors, which helped participants recognize where they could begin taking the lead in their own lives. Nearly everyone identified several opportunities that wouldn't require adding more to their already busy schedules.

One woman realized she'd been organizing her workday around a conventional schedule rather than her own natural rhythm. She did her best deep work early in the morning, so she decided to protect those hours for focused work and create a two- to three-hour block in the middle of the day for the gym and errands. She wasn't adding anything new or abandoning her responsibilities. She was simply arranging her day in a way that worked better for her.

I love that example because it demonstrates how small shifts in awareness can create meaningful changes in our daily experience. Taking the lead doesn't always require a major life change. Often it begins with recognizing that we have choices we've never stopped to consider.

One of my favorite ways to practice this is to check in with my inner wisdom before committing to anything new. I've learned that when I give myself a little space to notice how something feels, I'm much more likely to make a choice that supports what matters to me.

And that brings us back to the uncertainty of this next season.

We don't necessarily need to know exactly what comes next to begin taking the lead in creating it. We can start by paying attention to what supports us, what drains us, and what we might be ready to leave behind.

Our minds, bodies, and energy are constantly responding to our experiences, but when we're busy meeting expectations and moving through familiar routines, those signals are easy to overlook. Paying attention gives us information we can use to make more conscious choices.

Before we can shape a season, we have to notice what gives us energy and what quietly takes it.

Your body offers clues to what's going on beneath the surface. Here's a small way to listen in.

The Season Check-In

Five minutes, a quiet spot, and coffee if you like.

Think back over the past week and let two moments rise up on their own.

One where you felt most like yourself. Open, easy, a little lighter.

And one where you felt drained, rushed, or smaller than you are.

Stay with each one for a few breaths and notice how your body responds as you recall the experience. Perhaps there's warmth in your chest, tightness in your shoulders, or a heaviness in your belly.

Then ask yourself about the first moment: What was here that I want more of?

And about the second: What was here that isn't mine to carry anymore?

Write one line for each. That's all.

Those two lines offer a glimpse into your own signals and may help you recognize where you'd like to make a little more room.

One check-in gives you a glimpse. Coming back to practices like this, week after week, is how those glimpses begin to turn into knowing. The kind of knowing you can trust, that helps you take the lead and shape this season on your own terms.

That's why I created Return to Yourself: Six Practices for Energy Literacy. It's an ebook with companion audios you can listen to on a walk or over your morning coffee. The six practices help you become more familiar with the language of your own mind, body, and energy so you can recognize what supports you, notice what doesn't, and make choices with greater confidence.

It's $27, and you can explore it here:

However you end up naming this next season, I hope it feels fully yours.

Be Inspired,

Cathy

P.S. Hit reply and say Hi - I love to connect with you.

P.P.S. If you're finding yourself somewhere between excitement and uncertainty about what comes next, Return to Yourself offers a place to begin listening to your own signals and making choices from there. Take a look here.

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